10 Practical Questions to Ask a Counsellor Before You Start

Written by Evan Vukets, RCC, Registered Clinical Counsellor in Abbotsford, BC. I support men in Abbotsford, the Fraser Valley, and online across BC. Learn more about me

Starting counselling often feels like a bigger step than people expect.

Not because you are unsure whether you are struggling, but because you want to make sure the process will be worth your time, energy, and money.

Many people worry about choosing the wrong counsellor, getting stuck in something open-ended, or not knowing how to tell if counselling is actually helping. These concerns are especially common for people who are used to solving problems on their own.

The good news is that you do not need to figure everything out before you start. Asking a few thoughtful questions can give you a much clearer sense of whether a counsellor and their approach are a good fit for you.

The questions below are not about testing or challenging a counsellor. They are about helping you feel grounded, informed, and intentional as you begin.

You do not need to ask all ten. Even one or two can change how the experience feels.

Why Asking Questions during a consultation with a counsellor Matters

Many people hesitate to ask questions because they worry it will seem awkward, confrontational, or unnecessary.

In reality, asking questions early is one of the strongest predictors of a good therapeutic fit. It helps clarify expectations, reduce uncertainty, and establish counselling as a collaborative process, not something you passively receive.

A counsellor who welcomes questions is usually someone who values transparency, feedback, and shared responsibility for the work.

Feeling Unsure Is Not a Sign You Are Doing This Wrong

Many people assume that by the time they reach out for counselling, they should feel certain. Certain that they need help. Certain that this is the right time. Certain that counselling will work.

In reality, uncertainty is one of the most common reasons people start counselling. Not because they are in crisis, but because something no longer feels aligned.

You might feel functional but disconnected. Capable but exhausted. Successful on paper but unclear about what is next. These experiences are easy to dismiss because they do not look dramatic, yet they are often the very signals that support could be useful.

Asking questions is not a delay tactic. It is a way of respecting yourself and the process enough to start intentionally.

How to Use These Questions

You do not need to ask these questions perfectly or all at once. They are meant to guide a conversation, not turn counselling into an interview.

Some people bring one or two questions into a free consultation. Others keep them in mind during the first few sessions. You may even notice that certain questions become more relevant as the work unfolds.

The goal is not to control the process, but to stay engaged in it. Counselling tends to be most effective when you understand what you are doing, why you are doing it, and how it connects to your goals.

1. What does progress usually look like in your work?

This question helps you understand how change is defined.

Some counsellors focus on emotional insight, others on behavioural change, and many combine the two. What matters is whether their idea of progress aligns with what you are hoping to experience.

You are not looking for guarantees. You are listening for clarity, realism, and an ability to explain how growth is usually noticed over time.

2. How do you typically structure sessions?

This gives you a sense of whether counselling will feel open-ended or intentional.

Some sessions are conversational and exploratory. Others are more structured, with check-ins, goals, or exercises. Many counsellors adjust structure based on the client and the phase of work.

Understanding this upfront can prevent frustration later.

3. What kinds of concerns do you most often work with?

This question helps you assess familiarity, not expertise.

You might be dealing with patterns of addiction, symptoms of anxiety, trapped in emotional numbness, feeling unable to communicate in relationship, feeling stuck in a life transition, or another challenge which brings you to counselling. Knowing whether the counsellor regularly works with similar concerns can increase confidence in the process.

It also gives you a sense of how they think about the issues you are facing.

4. How active are you in sessions?

Counsellors vary in how involved they are.

Some primarily listen and reflect. Others ask direct questions, offer observations, or gently challenge patterns. Neither approach is better. The key is whether the style feels comfortable and supportive for you.

This question helps you avoid surprises and align expectations early.

5. How do you balance talking with practical tools?

Many people worry counselling will involve a lot of talking with little direction.

This question opens a conversation about skills, strategies, reflection, and how insights are applied outside of sessions.

If you value usefulness and real-world application, this is an especially important one to ask.

6. How will we know if this is working?

This question brings the focus to accountability and feedback.

You are not asking for certainty. You are asking how progress is noticed, discussed, and adjusted if needed.

A thoughtful answer usually reflects a counsellor who sees therapy as something you actively shape together.

7. What happens if I am not sure this is a good fit?

Fit matters more than most people realize (Studies consistently find that feeling understood and working well with your counsellor is one of the strongest predictors of meaningful change in therapy).

This question helps you understand how the counsellor responds to uncertainty or doubt. Do they invite conversation? Are they open to adjusting their approach or supporting a referral if needed?

A healthy therapeutic relationship allows room for honesty.

8. How long do people typically work with you?

There is no universal timeline for counselling.

Some people come for short-term, focused support. Others engage in longer-term work. This question helps clarify how the counsellor thinks about pacing, goals, and endings.

Knowing this can reduce anxiety about getting stuck or overcommitting. (I go over the difference between short-term and long-term counselling approaches in the blog titled What is Counselling?)

9. What do you expect from clients between sessions?

This gives insight into how active the process will be outside the counselling room.

Some counsellors suggest reflection, journaling, or skill practice. Others focus primarily on in-session work. Neither is right or wrong, but expectations should be clear.

Clarity here prevents misunderstandings later.

10. What kind of client tends to benefit most from your approach?

This is often the most revealing question.

A thoughtful answer shows self-awareness and honesty. It helps you decide whether their approach fits your personality, needs, and goals.

You are listening for alignment, not perfection.

A Final Thought

You do not need to sound confident or prepared when asking these questions.

You can simply say, “I am new to this and trying to understand if this is a good fit.” That is enough.

Starting counselling well is not about having the right words. It is about starting a conversation that feels respectful, clear, and useful.

What to Do Next

If you are still deciding whether counselling is right for you, it may help to step back and look at the bigger picture.

I recently shared a practical checklist that walks through common signs and hesitations people have before starting counselling.

Together, these two posts are meant to help you move forward with less pressure and more clarity.

If you are feeling ready to begin your journey with counselling, and feel that we could be a good fit I encourage you to book a free consultation.