Evan Vukets | RCC #17610 | MA Counselling Psychology
Evan Vukets
Registered Clinical Counsellor | Men's Mental Health | Abbotsford, BC
“You don’t have to lose yourself just to hold everything together.”
I'm Evan, a therapist in Abbotsford who works with men who look like they have it all together but inside feel lost, burnt out, and disconnected from who they really are. Maybe you’re lying awake wondering if you’re doing enough, if you’re on the right path, if this is all there is. Maybe you’re holding it together for everyone else but noticing a short fuse, exhaustion that won’t lift, and relying on substances or habits to cope.
Many people lose themselves quietly, not through a single crisis, but through years of doing what was required, expected, or necessary. Therapy is not about becoming someone new. It is about reclaiming parts of yourself that were set aside to survive.
Maybe you are here because...
01
You look like you have it
together. But inside you’re
quietly unravelling.
You are a hard worker, maybe a provider, partner, or father. You show up every day, but beneath the surface you feel lost, burnt out, and can't remember who you are.
02
You’re facing something big
and feeling lost about who
you’re becoming.
A career shift, becoming a father, a
relationship ending. What used to
feel solid now feels uncertain and
the path forward is not as clear as you expected or hoped.
03
A pattern keeps pulling you
back and you’re ready to
understand why.
Substances, gaming, pornography, overworking. You know the pattern isn’t serving you. But stopping isn’t the hard part. Understanding what it’s been doing for you is.
Who is Evan?
While I have always been curious about the brain and people, an arts degree was not the expected path as I grew up in a family of accountants and businessmen. I started university in marketing, and while I was interested in learning people, the way that knowledge was often used felt misaligned with who I was. A psychology elective in my first year provided a different direction that felt more aligned with my values and how I wanted to work with people.
Before committing fully to counselling, I needed to know I could actually sit with people in their darkest moments. So I worked a crisis line as a call taker, and as a community support worker alongside people navigating significant challenges in daily living. Those experiences showed me how much meaning and dignity can exist even in the hardest circumstances. What I learned from the 3:00 AM calls still shape how I show up in the therapy room to this day.
In 2014, I was involved in a serious motor vehicle accident. Previously I was healthy, but for the first time I was experiencing debilitating migraines, and pain from nerve damage which made daily tasks became difficult. In addition to my injuries, I lost my first project car, a 1966 Mustang, which I had restored and carried significant meaning for me. Ownership of that car was a part of my identity, and it felt taken from me.
This experience gave me an idea of what it is like to feel disconnected from your body, to grieve assumptions about the future, and to manage pain while still showing up for responsibilities. During that time I leaned heavily on distraction and avoidance. While they offered short-term relief, I eventually noticed how much it was taking from me.
I also know what burnout feels like from the inside. Years of extended schedules, working seven days a week, and continuing to move the goalposts of what I expected from myself. Eventually, the weight of it demanded an honest reassessment.
Fatherhood changed how I practice.
That reassessment became especially real as I prepared to become a father. I had been doing meaningful work in treatment centres while managing a private practice, but the pace was not sustainable. In preparing for my daughter, I could see what it was costing me. I made a deliberate decision to step back from the security of agency work and focus full time on building this private practice.
It was not easy to say goodbye to the stability of a paycheck, but it has allowed me to choose a life structured around what truly matters to me: presence, balance, and my family.
My experiences inform and shape the work I now help clients navigate every day. I didn’t just study burnout, chronic pain, parenting, and patterns of avoidance, I restructured my life because of these things.
Rudolf Dreikurs said he was interested in what makes you tick, not what makes you sick. That's the lens I bring into this work, curiosity about who you are, not a checklist of what's wrong with you.
Things I won't do when you work with me:
I won’t use unnecessary therapy jargon or make you decode what I’m saying.
I won't hand you a coping strategy that can't realistically be used to support your actual life.
I won’t let therapy become another place where you rehearse self-criticism.
My Approach
Real talk. Real tools. Real Change.
My approach is trauma-informed and attachment-focused, with flexibility based on your goals and values.
Some clients prefer a short-term, skills-based focus using CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy). Others are more interested in deeper exploration of patterns, identity, and meaning, drawing from Adlerian, Narrative, and Existential therapy.
We work collaboratively to find what fits where you are and what you’re hoping to get out of therapy. I approach therapy as a human process, not an abstract clinical exercise. I show up as a real person, with curiosity, humour when appropriate, and a genuine interest in how you make sense of your life. I focus on helping you understand your patterns, strengths, and meaning rather than reducing your experience to a diagnosis.
My approach brings together:
Cognitive Behavioural
Therapy (CBT)
Practical tools for managing
anxiety, depression, and unhelpful thought patterns.
Adlerian Therapy
How early experiences shape
current behaviour and building new perspectives on belonging and purpose.
Somatic Therapy (Level 1 & 2)
Trauma lives in the body. Tuning
in, releasing stored tension,
rebuilding safety.
Dialectical Behaviour
Therapy (DBT)
Mindfulness-informed skills for
managing intense emotions and
improving relationships.
Existential & Narrative Therapy
Rewriting the stories you carry and separating your identity from your problems.
Gottman &
Attachment Theory
Practical evidence-based tools and strategies to better manage relationship patterns, and
attachment wounds.
Individual Session
$170 / 50 Minutes
Online or phone counselling sessions through Evan Vukets Counselling, and in partnership with Eterna Counselling & Wellness for in-person sessions
Insurance & Billing
Most extended health plans
RCC coverage | CVAP | Spring Health | Modern Health | WorkBC | ICBC claim paperwork supported (No direct ICBC billing at this time)
Rates and Insurance
Get help with
Men’s Mental Health
For men functioning on the outside but feeling stuck, disconnected, or
burnt out underneath.
Burnout & Stress
Anxiety & Overthinking
Anger Management
Anger is usually a signal something
underneath needs attention, not
a character flaw.
Depression & Low Mood
Not always sadness, often
flatness, withdrawal, and losing
interest in what used to matter.
Addiction & Compulsive Patterns
My Core Values of Therapy
You are not permanently 'broken.' You are responding to what you have experienced or are trapped in a state of autopilot.
The patterns you’re dealing with didn’t come out of nowhere. They developed in response to experiences, pressures, and environments that required survival. Therapy is about understanding how those responses formed, and deciding which ones still serve you.
You deserve a life that feels authentic to you.
Not a life you are performing for other people. Not built on what you think you are supposed to want. A life grounded
in your values, connected to your purpose, and aligned with who you actually are.
Feeling emotions doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
Many men are taught to manage life by minimizing or avoiding emotion.
When emotion is silenced, unexamined stress shapes decisions in the background.
Change is possible, but it takes real work.
Change is not passive. It requires time, sustained effort, and a willingness to tolerate discomfort rather than avoid
it.
Therapy isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about work that leads to meaningful, durable shifts.
The therapeutic relationship is what actually creates change.
While my degrees and certifications are helpful, the alliance between us is what makes the work real and effective.
I build that through humour, real-life language, tangible takeaways, and a genuine curiosity about how you make sense of your life.
Therapy only matters if the work shows up in your daily life.
The work is measured by what changes when you leave the room. Your ability to respond differently when stress hits, when old patterns pull, or when you’re
navigating the weight of daily demands.
Education & Trainings
Degrees & Education
Master of Counselling Psychology
Adler University, Vancouver
Bachelor of Arts, Major in Psychology
Kwantlen Polytechnic University
Specialized Trainings
ADHD Certified Clinical Services Provider (ADHD-CCSP)
Evergreen Certifications
EMDR Basic Training
Three Rivers Training Centre
Somatic Therapy Level 1 & 2
Centre for Mindfulness-Based Somatic Therapy
Gottman Method Level 1 & 2
The Gottman Institute
Professional Registrations
Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC #17610)
British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC)
Common Questions
I’ve never talked to a therapist before. What is it actually like?
Therapy is a conversation, not a lecture, and definitely not an interrogation. The first session is mostly me listening and asking questions to understand what’s been going on and what you’re hoping to get from the work. You don’t need to arrive with anything figured out, but if you are curious about a first session, this blog post on what to expect during a consultation or what to expect from a first session blog posts may be helpful.
How do I know if I’m burnt out or just stressed?
This is a very common question clients ask me (so much so I wrote this blog post), the simple definition is that stress is tied to specific situations and usually eases when the pressure lifts. Burnout is cumulative,, you feel exhausted even after rest, disconnected from things that used to matter, and increasingly cynical. If you are functioning on paper but feeling flat, if small things set you off, or if you’re relying on habits just to get through the day, there is a good chance you are experiencing symptoms of burnout. It doesn’t improve by pushing harder.
My partner thinks I should see someone. I’m not sure I agree. Is that worth exploring?
While I have a lot of clients sit on my couch because they were urged by loved ones, I will not force someone to work with me if they do not want to be there or see benefit from the sessions. Therapy is not something done to you, but something we work on together. If you are unsure, a free consultation could be a good opportunity to explore it. A consultation is not a commitment to therapy, it is a chance to ask questions, get a feel for whether it seems useful, and decide for yourself.
I’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t help. Why would this be different?
I often ask in the first session if the client sitting across from me has had therapy before, if it was helpful or if there was anything less so. Sometimes clients have past experiences with therapy where the fit was off, the approach didn’t match what they needed, or the timing was just not right.
I work in a way that’s practical, plain-spoken, and adapted to where my clients are, it is not a one-size model regardless of who I am working with. A consultation lets you get a sense of whether the work could be helpful before committing.
Do you work with couples?
While I have training post-masters for couple's counselling and have done a lot of couple's counselling in the past, I am not currently taking on any new couples. I still work with clients through communication difficulties, anger, relationship stress, and perpetual patterns with practical tools, but with one client on the couch and not two.
Do you offer therapy for behavioural addictions like gaming, alcohol use, or pornography?
Yes, if a pattern has started to feel compulsive (something you keep returning to even when you don’t want to), or that’s getting in the way of your relationships or sense of self, it is worth working on.
When working with addictions, the goal is not just to stop. It is to understand what addiction has been doing for you and build a life where you don’t need it as much or feel ready to step away from it entirely. In my time working at treatment centres I have become well familiar with SMART Recovery, 12 step, and harm reduction approaches to addiction, which allows me to support my clients wherever they are in their pattern of recovery.
Can I use my extended health benefits?
Most extended health plans in Canada cover Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) sessions. If you are planning on using coverage, please check with your provider for your specific coverage. I also accept CVAP and WorkBC funding and can support ICBC claim paperwork, though I no longer direct bill ICBC.
I’m not good at talking about my feelings. Will therapy even work for me?
This is a common misconception, you don’t need to be well versed in emotions or emotional language to start therapy or for it to be useful.
Many men I work with start exactly where you are, uncomfortable with emotion, unsure what they are feeling, or skeptical that talking helps. Therapy isn’t about performing vulnerability. It is about building the capacity to notice what you’re experiencing and respond in ways that serve you. We start where you actually are.
What's the difference between CBT/DBT and the deeper work you mention? Which one do I need?
CBT and DBT are skills-based approaches. They're practical, focused on changing thought patterns, managing emotions, and building coping tools. If you need concrete strategies to manage anxiety, depression, or overwhelming emotions, this is where we start.
The deeper work, using Adlerian, Narrative, and Existential approaches explores long-standing patterns, identity, meaning, and how your history shapes how you relate to yourself and others. This is where we go if you're interested in understanding why patterns persist, what drives your decisions, or what gives your life meaning.
We work collaboratively to match the approach to what you're looking for. Some people do both, we will start with skills to better manage a problem, then move into deeper exploration to better understand themselves.
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