What is Counselling?
- Feb 4, 2021
- 7 min read
Updated: Feb 22
Written by Evan Vukets, RCC, Registered Clinical Counsellor in Abbotsford, BC. I support men in Abbotsford, the Fraser Valley, and online across BC. Learn more about me
Edited February 22, 2026
“So… what actually happens in counselling?”
That’s one of the most common questions I hear when someone reaches out for the first time. And honestly, it makes sense. There is still a lot of mystery, stigma, and taboo around what counselling is and who it is for.
Let’s break it down together...
Counselling in Plain Language
Counselling (sometimes called therapy) is simply a safe space to talk things through with someone trained to help.
Counselling is a professional mental health service where you meet with a trained clinician in a confidential, structured setting to explore thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and life experiences
You don’t need a diagnosis. You don’t need to be “at rock bottom.” And you don’t need to know the fancy names like CBT or EMDR to benefit.
What counselling can do is:
Teach you tools to manage stress and emotions
Help shift unhelpful thinking patterns
Support you in building healthier relationships
Increase your self-awareness
Encourage habits that support your mental health
At its core, counselling is about helping you feel more grounded, connected, and in control of your life.
Many people in Abbotsford and the Fraser Valley seek counselling not because they are in crisis, but because they want clarity, direction, or support navigating stress, relationships, or life transitions.
Short-Term Counselling: Tools for Right Now
Therapy doesn’t have to be a lifelong commitment, sometimes just a handful of sessions are enough to steady yourself, get through a tough stretch, or pick up new tools that make a real difference.
Short-term counselling is practical and focused on the present.
It can help when you’re dealing with:
Work stress or burnout.
Significant life transition like a job change or a move.
Coping after an accident, illness, or sudden event.
Adjusting to new roles, like becoming a parent or shifting careers.
Working on a specific skill, like communication.
In short-term counselling, we focus on the tools and strategies you can use right away. You’ll leave with practical ways to manage stress, regulate emotions, and find your footing again.
Short-term counselling often draws from structured approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Solution-Focused Therapy, and skills-based emotional regulation work. These models focus on practical strategies, measurable goals, and building momentum within a defined timeframe.
It doesn’t usually dive deep into your past or family history, it is more about helping you handle what’s right in front of you so you can get back to living your life.
In short-term counselling if the current transition is managed or specific goal is achieved, you can be graduated from counselling and I will close your file. If it has been helpful, you can always reconnect if something else comes up!
For many people, short-term counselling answers the question, “How do I handle this better right now?”
Longer-Term Counselling: Exploring Deeper Change
Other times, the struggles run deeper. Maybe it’s something you’ve been carrying for years. Maybe you keep finding yourself in the same patterns of relationships, stress, or self-doubt.
Longer-term counselling creates space to explore and heal at a deeper level.
This can be especially helpful if you’re working through:
Trauma or painful experiences that stick in your mind.
Long unmanageable, or seasonal patterns of anxiety or depression.
Feeling disconnected from yourself, your values, or your relationships.
A sense of emptiness, like you’re going through the motions but not really living.
In this kind of counselling, we look at the bigger picture. How do you make sense of your story? How do you talk to yourself? What are your values? What patterns keep showing up? Where do you want to shift, and what strengths can you build on?
Longer-term counselling often integrates relational, attachment-based, psychodynamic, or narrative approaches. These frameworks help explore early experiences, identity development, core beliefs, and the deeper emotional themes that influence how you relate to yourself and others.
It’s not about “fixing” you. It’s about creating lasting change and helping you live in a way that feels authentic and grounded.
For some, this answers a different question: “Why does this keep happening in my life?”
Counselling Formats: Online or In-Person?
Nowadays, the second biggest question people ask is if online counselling works as well as in-person.
The short answer: both can be effective, and it depends on what works best for you.
The slightly longer answer: American Psychological Association released an article back in 2020 comparing research on virtual sessions. In a study that included 98,602 participants, it showed that virtual sessions were equally as effective as in person sessions as well as increasing the access to care.
Since then, research has consistently shown that virtual counselling can be just as effective as in-person therapy for many concerns, particularly anxiety, depression, and stress-related challenges.
Below outlines a few pros of each:
In-person counselling
Helpful if you value being in the same physical space. If you are trapped in online meetings and already experiencing 'Zoom fatigue,' in-person is a more human experience.
Coming into the office can help reduce distractions, pressures, or obligations you may have at home.
Some clients have noted it feels grounding to “leave the house” and step into a dedicated space for reflection.
Online counselling
Accessible from anywhere in BC or Canada, which means no travel time.
Fits better with busy work or family schedules.
Comfortable if you prefer being in your own space, many clients have shared they have felt opening up faster this way (if they have the confidential space available).
I see clients in Abbotsford and the Fraser Valley, but I also work with men across BC through secure online sessions. Some choose one format, others mix both depending on their week.
The most important part isn’t the format, it’s that you feel safe, understood, and supported.
What to Expect When You Start Counselling
First session: We talk about what brought you in, your strengths, and what feels stuck (you can read more about a first session here).
Understanding patterns: Naming the patterns often brings clarity and relief.
Making a plan: Together, we decide what matters most for you right now and how to move forward.
Whole-life approach: Along the way, we may talk about sleep, exercise, or daily routines that support mental health.
You do not need to prepare perfectly for your first session. You can come exactly as you are. Part of the process is discovering what matters most together
Counselling is not about being “fixed.” It’s about working together so you feel supported, equipped, and understood. If you want to learn more about the first session experience, I have a blog titled "What to expect in your first session?"
Frequently Asked Questions About Counselling
What is Counselling Exactly?
Counselling is a structured and confidential conversation with a trained mental health professional. It provides space to explore thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and patterns in a way that increases clarity and builds practical tools.
Counselling can support stress management, relationship growth, emotional regulation, and personal development. It is not about being judged or fixed, it is about gaining insight and building skills that support lasting change.
What actually happens during counselling?
Counselling usually involves talking through current challenges, identifying patterns, exploring emotions, and developing strategies for change. Some sessions may feel practical and skill-focused, while others may explore deeper themes connected to identity, relationships, or past experiences. The process is collaborative, meaning we work together to clarify goals and adjust direction as needed.
How do I prepare for my first counselling session?
You do not need to prepare in a specific way. You do not need a script or a perfectly organized explanation of your life. It can be helpful to reflect on what has been feeling heavy or stuck recently, but even that is not required. The first session is about getting to know each other, clarifying what you are hoping for, and creating a plan that feels manageable and supportive.
How often should I attend counselling?
Most clients begin with weekly or biweekly sessions to build consistency and momentum. As progress is made, sessions may become less frequent depending on your goals and needs. The pace is flexible and can be adjusted over time. The goal is not to attend forever, but to attend in a way that supports meaningful and sustainable change.
Is counselling confidential?
Yes. Counselling is confidential, with limited legal and safety exceptions that are explained at the beginning of your work together. This includes situations involving risk of harm or court orders, which are clearly outlined so you know what to expect.
Do I need a diagnosis to start counselling?
No. Many people begin counselling for stress, relationship concerns, burnout, or life transitions without any formal diagnosis. Counselling is not limited to clinical disorders. It can also support personal growth, self-understanding, and learning new ways of responding to everyday challenges.
Can counselling help with anxiety or depression?
Yes. Counselling can be very effective for anxiety and depression. Short-term approaches may focus on learning coping tools, identifying unhelpful thinking patterns, and regulating emotional responses. Longer-term counselling may explore deeper contributing factors such as chronic stress, self-criticism, relationship patterns, or unresolved experiences. The approach depends on your goals and what feels most helpful.
How long does counselling usually take?
Some people attend for a few focused sessions to address a specific concern. Others choose longer-term support depending on their goals and the depth of work they want to explore. The length of counselling depends on the complexity of the issue, your readiness for change, and what feels helpful and sustainable for you.
What is the difference between counselling and therapy?
In everyday language, the terms are often used interchangeably. Both involve working with a trained mental health professional in a structured and confidential setting.
How do I know if counselling is right for me?
If you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or simply curious about growing in a healthier direction, counselling can be a helpful place to start.
Is counselling only for crisis situations?
No. Counselling is not only for crisis. Many people seek counselling for growth, clarity, relationship improvement, burnout prevention, or navigating life transitions. You do not have to wait until things feel unmanageable. Often, seeking support earlier can prevent patterns from becoming more entrenched or overwhelming.
Is counselling covered by insurance in BC?
Many extended health benefit plans in British Columbia cover sessions with a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC). Coverage varies depending on your provider and plan, so it is helpful to check your specific benefits. If you are unsure, you can often call your provider directly or review your online benefits portal to confirm coverage details.
Final Thought
Starting counselling doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you or a sign of weakness. It’s a choice to strengthen your mind, and building the version of yourself you want to become.
If you’ve been wondering if counselling might help, I invite you to reach out. Whether it’s through a free consultation (read more about free consultations here), an email, or booking a session, we can talk about what you need and how I can support you.
Serving Abbotsford, Mission, Chilliwack, Langley, and the greater Fraser Valley, as well as online across BC.
Comments