Movember and Men's Mental Health: Slowing Down from Autopilot

Written by Evan Vukets, RCC, Registered Clinical Counsellor in Abbotsford, BC. I support men in Abbotsford, the Fraser Valley, and online across BC. Learn more about me

Every November, moustaches start to appear. Some are patchy and some impressive, but they all have a purpose. 

Movember began as a light-hearted way to raise awareness for men's health between two friends in Australia in 2003. Over time, it's grown into something much deeper. It serves as a reminder to check in on the men in our lives, and maybe even to check in on ourselves. 

For many men, that second part is harder. 

The Weight of Autopilot 

I have worked with a lot of men who look like they have it all together. They're showing up for work, for family, for everyone who depends on them. On the outside, they're strong, capable, and responsible. Inside, it's often a different story. 

They talk about feeling tired all the time. Not just physically, but in a quiet, heavy way that's hard to name. They describe being on autopilot. Days blend together. They've built a "good life" on paper, but don't always feel in it. 

When we start to slow things down in therapy, a pattern often shows up. Many of us were taught that our worth comes from what we do. We fix. We build. We push through. 

Those skills are valuable and they help us succeed. But when they're the only tools we use, they can also keep us from slowing down long enough to notice what's really going on inside. 

Why Movember MatterS

That's where Movember hits home for me. It's not just about growing facial hair or raising money, though those things matter. It's about creating space for men to step back and say, "How am I really doing?" 

Because the truth is, men's mental health still carries a lot of internalized stigma. 

According to the Movember Foundation, 1 in 4 men experience a mental health challenge each year, yet far fewer seek help. And while men make up about half of the population, 4 out of 5 suicides are men. 

These aren't just numbers. They're fathers, brothers, sons, and friends. Men who tried to keep it all together until they couldn't anymore. 

Redefining Strength 

When we've been raised to believe strength means handling everything on our own, asking for help can feel like failure. But what if it isn't? 

What if real strength isn't about pushing through, but about pausing long enough to listen to what's happening beneath the surface? 

Sometimes that pause feels uncomfortable. For the men I work with, slowing down can bring up things that have been buried for years. Grief, pressure, loneliness, or the sense that they've lost touch with themselves somewhere along the way. 

But that's also where things start to shift. 

I've seen men reconnect with parts of themselves they had forgotten. The man who thought he had to carry everything starts to share the load. The one who only knew how to push forward learns to breathe again. Not just to survive, but to actually live. 

You're Not Alone 

If you're reading this and some of it sounds familiar, you're not alone. 

Maybe you've felt that quiet restlessness. Maybe you've caught yourself snapping at the people you care about. Or maybe you just know you're running on empty, but you're not sure how to slow down. 

You don't need to have it all figured out. You don't need to hit rock bottom before reaching out. 

Sometimes the smallest step. Sending a message to a friend, booking a first counselling session, or just admitting, "I think I could use some help" is braver than suffering alone. 

Taking the First Step 

This Movember, the moustaches might grab the attention. But the real movement happens in the quieter spaces. In the moments when men choose to talk, to listen, and to take care of themselves in ways that go deeper than physical health. 

If you're ready to step out of autopilot and reconnect with yourself, counselling can be a good place to start. It's not about fixing you. It's about creating space to slow down, understand what's happening beneath the surface, and begin to move toward something more grounded and meaningful. 

At Evan Vukets Counselling, I understand the unique challenges men face. You will find a space where you can be heard without judgment. 

Because you deserve that. 

Support MovembeR and Men's mental health

Want to get involved? Here are some ways to support Movember and men's mental health this November: 

• Donate to Movember: Support vital research and programs at Movember.com/donate

• Start Your Own Fundraiser: Create a personal or team fundraising page at Movember.com

• Learn More: Explore mental health resources and statistics at the Movember Foundation

• Check In: Reach out to the men in your life. Sometimes a simple "How are you really doing?" makes all the difference. 

If the first step in slowing down or checking under the hood feels intimidating alone, I encourage you to book a free consultation to see how counselling can help.